Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Mary Oliver: The Swan
I learned about Mary Oliver from a participant in a wonderful invention called Diktringen (Norwegian word, being the name of a mailing list of daily poems and comments - all directed by one man; impressive!) a few days ago. She is probably well known in the States, but I had, as you understand, never heard of her.
I read a poem called Wild Geese then, and found myself curious to read more of her. Till now, I am not completely won over, but I liked the following poem. Mostly because of the last three lines.
The Swan
Did you too see it, drifting, all night, on the black river?
Did you see it in the morning, rising into the silvery air -
An armful of white blossoms,
A perfect commotion of silk and linen as it leaned
into the bondage of its wings; a snowbank, a bank of lilies,
Biting the air with its black beak?
Did you hear it, fluting and whistling
A shrill dark music - like the rain pelting the trees - like a waterfall
Knifing down the black ledges?
And did you see it, finally, just under the clouds -
A white cross Streaming across the sky, its feet
Like black leaves, its wings
Like the stretching light of the river?
And did you feel it, in your heart, how it pertained to everything?
And have you too finally figured out what beauty is for?
And have you changed your life?
Mary Oliver
I like the notion that insights and realizations of truth and beauty shall affect one's life. This is something I have experienced and therefore something know to be true - I don't have to believe it.
The times an insight flutters down on you or materializes like a lightning inside you are moments that stand out. To some extent I would say that they form one's life.
They have mine, anyway.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Fra en tapetblomstrete dagbok: Mann vs kvinne... igjen. Uff!
Vi trenger ikke flere tekster som lister opp forskjellene mellom mann og kvinne. Det foreligger alt for mye av den slags allerede, i diverse populærkulturelle trykksaker, som Dagbladet Fredag, Magasinet, det farlig usanne kulturkule ”Radioselskapet” på NRK P2, trendanalytikere, ungdomsmagasiner på TV, radio og i bladform – det er nok å ta av.
Problemet med disse opplistingene av forskjeller ligger i at det er en del sannhet i eksemplene vi får presentert, men at disse ”sannhetene” som regel er simplifisert, popularisert, noen anelser forvridd, og – tror jeg – lettere uklare for de som kommer med innsiktene. (I neste rekke følger selvfølgelig det faktum at mange lar seg påvirke, mer eller mindre bevisst, av hva som formidles i disse hva-er-forskjellene-på-mann-og-kvinne-spaltene, og tror at mye som sies der er sant.)
Hvorfor er dette noe å bry seg om? Underholdes vi ikke like mye hver gang vi blir presentert for dem? Det er noen underliggende, mentale mekanismer som gjør disse kvinne/mann-listene til noe mer enn ufarlig underholdning. (De ikke bare underbygger, men danner myter om hva som er spesifikt kvinnelig og hva som er spesifikt mannlig.)
Vi har lyst til å tro på kategoriseringene.
Vi har lyst til å tro at virkeligheten er så enkel at den kan grupperes i ”er” og ”er ikke”-bokser. Vi håper at det finne en objektiv sannhet om mann og kvinne, og at denne kan fanges og humoristisk formidles via slike observasjoner og oppstyltede grenser som presenteres i de respektive spalter. Vi håper altså at vi er inne på noe når vi grupperer og sorterer i så tilsynelatende åpenbart forskjellige kategorier som mann og kvinne utgjør.
Men det er for enkelt. Det er for uorganisk. Det er ikke sant.
Utgangspunktet for dette skriveriet er min egen følelse for forskjellene mellom det feminine og det maskuline, og hvordan dette kan komme til uttrykk i skrift. Disse to begrepene eller kvalitetene, maskulin og feminin, er ikke jevnt fordelt mellom mann og kvinne. Som regel er det overvekt av feminin kraft i kvinner og likeledes maskulin kraft i menn (det er vel derfor vi er blitt de kjønnene vi er blitt). Men disse størrelsene er ikke identiske med det menneske- og kjønnshylsteret vi er tildelt.
I denne iboende forskjellen mellom maskulin og feminin, mellom agerende, utadgående og ”aggressive”, og omsluttende, tøyelig og organisk inkluderende, ligger spiren som kan lede til popularisert oppdeling og gjerdesnekring. Forskjellene spikres fast, og her blir de stående, bastante og selvsikkert voktende sine grenser. Ikke særlig organisk eller levende? Heller ikke – for å bruke et ladet begrep – sant.
Slike mentale skillelinjer har lite å gjøre i den virkeligheten som faktisk er. Men, som sagt, noen sporer sannhet kan man finne i mann/kvinne-inndelinger.
Det som gjorde at jeg satte i gang å skrive om dette, er at jeg både kan føle og smake hvordan det seiglivede, snoende, svale ultrafeminine lett blir oversett og overkjørt av de mer velansette maskuline kvalitetene i vår verden. Kvinnelige forfattere (og jeg er oppmerksom på min egen bruk av apposisjon til substantivet ’forfatter’) snøftes gjerne bort om de heller mot å skrive for mye om kvinner, kvinners virkelighet, og spesielt kvinners hverdag (alt for kjedelig og betydningsløst for de fleste menn, og også en del kvinner) – dette kan jeg selv kjenne meg igjen i. Lenge tok jeg avstand fra denne ”type” litteratur (det er jo slett ingen type litteratur, felles er vel bare noen emner som blir tatt opp) fordi det virket for kjedelig og grått, alt for treigt til å bli satt mellom to permer og deretter lest av et publikum. Fremdeles er jeg ikke helt over den kneika, kanskje fordi jeg ikke tar meg tid til å lese så mange romaner som jeg kunne ønske; kanskje er det også fordi denne relativt ignorerte sjangeren ennå har til gode å fylles med solid, litterær kvalitet. På en eller annen måte.
Det samme gjelder imidlertid kvinnelige poeter. Gunvor Hofmo er vel anerkjent, men for en stor del ikke lest og analysert og seriøst omtalt som flere av våre mannlige poeter er det, slik som Stein Mehren, Olav H. Hauge, Tarjei Vesaas, Tor Ulven osv. Som menn får de automatisk en tyngde tillagt som det tar lang tid, mange lesere og mye seriøs omtale til for de fleste feminine poeter å bli til del. Det fins eksempler på kvinner som ikke skriver utpreget feminint, som for eksempel Inger Hagerup og den nylig debuterte Ruth Lillegraven. Disse får lettere eller raskere anerkjennelse enn mange av sine kvinnelige kolleger, for de beveger seg innenfor sfærer og i en type språk som er lettere å oppfatte og oppvurdere enn i mange av de kvinnelige poetenes tilfelle.
Jeg synes Gunvor Hofmo er et godt eksempel. Her har vi en forfatter som skriver om eksistensielle, religiøse spørsmål, virkelighetsloddende, innenfor en feminin uttrykksform. Her er inderlighet, mykhet, gjennomlyste farger, lys, luft, rom – alle kvaliteter som lett kan mentaliseres og resonneres bort til å skulle være mindre betydelig enn for eksempel Stein Mehrens mer intellektuelle uttrykksform. Det poetiske geni gjør nettopp slik som Hofmo gjør; beskriver, sanser, åpner, smyger seg fram til et unikt uttrykk, som igjen setter et unikt, dypt avtrykk i leserens sjel. Dersom man ikke overser den fine strengen disse feminine diktene kretser rundt.
Det er avgrunner i Hofmos poesi, dybder så bratte og sugende mørke at de ikke kan persiperes gjennom et mer ”nøytralt” tankebasert eller mentalt språk. Her er vi i et område hvor det vanlige vokabularet rett og slett ikke strekker til. Allikevel er formen gjennomsyret av feminin kraft (noe som etter min mening gir diktene enda mer gjennomslagskraft) og kan dermed lett overses og tolkes som over-inderlige eller halvveis hysteriske – Freud har ikke hjulpet kvinneheten i stor grad – og på den annen side for myke dikt, som er litt for brysomme og vanskelig tilegnede skriftstykker. Det er lettere å vende seg mot noe man forstår mer umiddelbart.
Det må nevnes, i denne sammenheng, at Jan Erik Vold er en ivrig og – det trenger knapt ytres – dyktig formidler av Hofmos geni.
© Tuva Langjord
Nåja, dette blir herved en avbrutt tanke, i det jeg skal ut på kino og se Becoming Jane, film om Jane Austen. Blir visst aldri ferdig med henne!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Radiohead: New Album Out Today!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Hooray for porridge
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Tomas Tranströmer: "Allegro"
Jag spelar Haydn efter en svart dag
och känner en enkel värme i händerna.
Tangenterna vill. Milda hammare slår.
Klangen är grön, livlig och stilla.
Klangen säger att friheten finns
och att någon inte ger kejsaren skatt.
Jag kör ner händerna i mina haydnfickor
och härmar en som ser lugnt på världen.
Jag hissar haydnflaggan - det betyder:
"Vi ger oss inte, men vill fred."
Musiken är ett glashus på sluttningen
där stenarna flyger, stenarna rullar.
Och stenarna rullar tvärs igenom
men varje ruta förblir hel.
Poem by David Whyte: "Faith"
I want to write about faith,
about the way the moon rises
over cold snow, night after night,
faithful even as it fades from fullness,
slowly becoming that last curving and impossible
sliver of light before the final darkness.
But I have no faith myself
I refuse it even the smallest entry.
Let this then, my small poem,
like a new moon, slender and barely open,
be the first prayer that opens me to faith.
David Whyte
Litteraturhuset i Oslo
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
David Whyte: "The Well of Grief"
Those who will not slip beneath
the still surface on the well of grief
turning down to its black water
to the place that we can not breathe
will never know
the source from which we drink
the secret water cold and clear
nor find in the darkness
the small gold coins
thrown by those who wished for something else
~ David Whyte ~
Fra samlingen Where Many Rivers Meet, 1990
Saturday, August 25, 2007
"Flower fascism"?
Interesting in many ways, what I find to be most interesting is how the British today feel embarrassed and mildly surprised at their emotional reaction to Diana's sudden death. What has made them this bewildered? It seems to me that their immediate emotional reaction, which didn't last only for a moment, but a whole week, was their real and natural way of responding to the premature death of a person the country as a whole had loved more than they, until then, had known.
No doubt this public movement of grief took many of the Brits aback. When did they ever show this much affection for a person very few really knew, other than through interviews and articles of various grades of sordidness in the press. A few dared name their uncomfortableness during the "Diana week" when grief swept the nation, but I dare say for many this grief was as real as the various actions bore witness.
Placing flowers in front of Kensington and Buckingham Palace (hence the term "Flower Fascism"), irately accusing and attacking members of the press for their supposed parttaking in Diana's death, the anger directed towards the rest of the Royal family for not showing any remorse or even sorrow in the sad affair -- was all this the expression of something the British peoplenow need feel ashamed about? And if "unnatural" to the British people; unnatural in what way -- and why?
For an outsider, this whole second thought-thing seems rather peculiar. More accurately; it seems like a reaction brought on by too much thinking, too much looking back and analysing, too little trusting their own reactions and subsequent actions.
To me, this illustrates the way we let our mental activity misdirect our natural ways of living. Anything can be analyzed to death.
Friday, July 20, 2007
I morgen vet vi alt om Harry Potter
I morgen kommer den, en bok som får flere års lesning, undring, spekulering, diskusjon og filosofering til å stilne. Med den siste Harry Potter-boka, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, får vi se hva Rowlings plott faktisk er.
Et av hennes sterkeste trekk er et solid, antakeligvis erfaringsbasert vett og vidd, hun staver fram leveregler som ikke er tenkt fram, de er sprunget ut av et virkelig liv. Det er selvsagt nødvendig med et godt hode for å trekke generelle regler/lover ut av erfaring, men det er det vel få som betviler at Rowling har. I grunnen tror jeg på at de aller fleste mennesker har et enormt potensiale, at enhver har uutgrunnelige sjelelige dybder -- men jeg har ikke like stor tro festet til hvordan den menneskelige mulighet forvaltes, utøves. Jeg blir stadig sjokkert over ny kriging, ny bestialitet osv, men er samtidig glad for å ha beholdt noe av min naivitet.
Men, her skulle det egentlig dreie seg om Potter. Det vil si Potter-plottet. Fram til nå er det ingen som faktisk vet hvor god historien er. Fram til nå har vi bare fulgt en rekke mysterier, fnist av humoren og kjent hvordan våre "moral fibres" styrkes gjennom lesningen av Potter-sagaen. Vi aner at det er et stort, klassisk oppgjør mellom ondt og godt som er i anmarsj, men vi vet ikke hvordan det utføres. Kanskje er det en vri på den klassiske lidelsesfortellingen, hvor Harry må ofre seg for at Voldemort skal dø, men så står opp igjen etter nåde fra naturlovene. Eller kanskje lærer Harry hvordan han skal overliste sitt negative avtrykk Voldemort, det vil si gjennomrisle Hr V med enkel godhet, noe som vil bli for skjørt og for sterkt for Voldemort, ettersom han har fortrengt og ødelagt alt av objektiv plussverdi i eget liv.
'Det enkle er det beste', er en av mange læresetninger man kan trekke ut av Potter-sagaen. Det er på ingen måte merkelig at en vanlig kvinne fra arbeiderklassebakgrunn i et av verdens største språksamfunn har slått så voldsomt igjennom klodelangs. Hun frisker opp vår etiske grunnstamme, den vi vet aldri råtner, den vi vet er den mest riktige og solide, og som vi aner har sin første sevje fra de tidligste mennesker. Bare det at vi er mennesker, gjør at en slik stamme er naturgitt. Vi vet at vi har muligheten til det gode og lyse, og at jo mer lys vi kaster, jo lengre og mørkere kan skyggene bli.
Det er så fundamentalt enkelt, det Rowling gjør, men det er hennes måte å gjøre det på, måten hun tvinner historien rundt dette åpenbare og i alle gjenkjennelige, som gjør at hun leses med så stor lyst over alt. Enkelt, med humor og vidd, og menneskelig varme - en trygg og riktig nærhet som vi alle kjenner igjen fra vi var barn og verden var overskuelig, lys og trygg.
Denne historien kommer nok til å få større betydning enn mange av dagens lesere tenker på. På overflaten er det jo først og fremst drivende god underholdning. Men for mange unge er det et par skritt inn i et solid fundamentert univers, en verden drevet av mørke og lyse sider, men hvor det er helt tydelig at det lønner seg -- sjelelig først og fremst, og for omverdenen i forlengelsen av det -- å holde seg til det gode. Gjennom Hermione ser vi også hvordan kunnskap er viktig, bare den brukes rett. Ingen kan nekte for at Voldemort antakeligvis er mer kunnskapsrik enn resten av de magiske menneskene (ettersom Dumbledore nå er død), men han har forkastet enhver mulighet til å kunne kalles vis. Han er komplett ignorant når det kommer til mange solide innsikter om rett og riktig som Harry Potter har innarbeidet i ryggmargen.
Når vi ser hvordan Rowling har drevet fram disse karakterene, hva de har stelt i stand av vemmelig-fascinerende ondt og hjertegjennomlysende godt, er det umulig at Voldemort kan overleve denne historien. Det er faktisk umulig. Fortellingens storhet står og faller på hvordan hun utformer Harrys skjebne. At han vil overvinne Voldemort er klart. Men hvordan? Hvem og hvor mange kommer til å ofre seg for at Voldemort dør? Hvor mange av de Harry har gjennomlyst med sitt relativt rene hjerte har latt seg virkelig gjennomlyse, til den grad at de kommer til å ofre seg for at verden skal bli et bedre sted?
Avslutningen vil vise hvor stor tro J.K. Rowling har på at verden kan bli et bedre sted.
Og jeg? Jeg har stor tro på at hun tror den kan bli mye bedre, med mennesker som bryr seg om det gode i dem selv -- og dermed andre!
(Hvis du vil se hva jeg har skrevet om Rowling og Potter-bøkene før, se her.)
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Emily Dickinsons blikk
Hvem kan se på dette fotografiet uten å se hvor direkte, hvor nådeløst og hvor brennende rakt hun blikker inn i virkeligheten? Hun ser så direkte på det eksisterende at jeg føler kulløynene hennes bore seg inn i brystet mitt. Jeg tror hun ser mer i meg enn jeg selv gjør - foreløpig.
Uansett kan hun -- det vil si diktene hennes -- fungere som en katalysator for å trenge dypere ned i materien. På enhver av materiens plan.
(PS - om du lurer på hvordan hun kikker ut på oss, kan du se henne i margen på denne siden - litt lenger ned og til venstre.)
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Erling Sandmo om Mozart
"Virkningen av en virkelig god Mozart-fremførelse vil typisk være at det der, det kunne jeg også skrevet. Men det kunne du ikke gjort. For det du kjenner igjen i Mozarts klaverkonserter er ikke dine egne ferdigheter, men dine drømmer. Når du sitter der etterpå, lett og forløst, og tenker at det der var som om du skulle gjort det selv, da har musikken lurt deg til å tro nettopp det: Den har fått deg til å tro at drømmer kan bli virkelighet, fordi du har fått høre det du skulle ønske at du kunne, det du drømmer om å gjøre. Der annen musikk kan skape merkelige musikalske illusjoner, gir Mozart lytteren illusjoner om seg selv, hun kan kjenne seg overlegen, kanskje bedre enn musikken, løftet ut av den. For der andre komponister bryter musikkens lover, skaper Mozart musikk av drømmerens eget, skjulte reglement."
(Erling Sandmo, Hør, s. 195.)
Friday, June 29, 2007
Gunnar Ekelöf: Poetik
POETIK
Det är till tystnaden du skall lyssna
tystnaden bakom apostroferingar, allusioner
tystnaden i retoriken
eller i det så kallade formellt fulländade
Detta är sökandet efter ett meningslöst
i det meningsfulla
och omvänt
Och allt vad jag så konstfullt söker dikta
är kontrastvis någonting konstlöst
och hela fyllnaden tom
Vad jag har skrivit
är skrivet mellan raderna
Monday, June 18, 2007
Äppelkriget!
This movie, invented&directed by the legendary Hasse Alfredsson and Tage Danielsson, is such a treat to the playful lover of absurd-melancholy-politically oriented-Northern mythology&superstition-inflicted works of art.
I have looked for this for ages, and it has been completely impossible to localise. Through one of my mother's many teacher friends, however, arrived my rescue.
Kjersti: Thanks a lot!
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Gothic Air
There is something about the gothic style, the obvious reaching for something higher, that is really appealing to me.
The pillars, the high windows, all the air that fills these buildings, the magnificent space in other words, is speaking directly to something divine in me. It creates a really good feeling to move in a space that has room for all of you, even for your craving for the high sky.Wednesday, June 13, 2007
The Life-long Quest
One way of meeting yourself is through mirroring. When someone you respect and feel is your equal makes you aware of certain bad habits or unnecessary patterns, it really causes you to wake up and view yourself in a brighter light, again causing you to search your seams and mend the patchy ones from the inside. At least that is how it is with me.
Where does one's strength, one's human erectness and immense existential density come from? From where does one's wish for unfolding towards an unknown truth stem? What nourishes your craving to continue developing, to continue unfold and step up the always&everywhere unfolding staircase?
A calling from your soul.
Something in our deepest nature drives us on. The want for truth, light and simplicity, for the sometimes unrevealed layers of existence is burning in us. With undying curiosity this life-long, more or less glowing crave eggs us on in our quest for truth.
Truth. How I long for it! And yet, something tells me that the searching is equally important as that of attaining it. (Probably you wouldn't have one without the other... But still.)
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Which book are you?
And I have to say, this was a remarkably succinct result - quite to the point, actually - although I measure out my life in tea spoons, rather than coffee ones. You should try too!
So this is me:
You're Prufrock and Other Observations!
by T.S. Eliot
Though you are very short and often overshadowed, your voice is poetic
and lyrical. Dark and brooding, you see the world as a hopeless effort of people trying
to impress other people. Though you make reference to almost everything, you've really
heard enough about Michelangelo. You measure out your life with coffee spoons.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Recognizing yourself in another
I am currently reading this autobiography by a Hungarian woman who lived from 1897 - 1994. I have read about a quarter of the book, so naturally I cannot give you a full (re)view - but it gripped me instantly and glued me to the pages.
Why? It is all about recognition. It would be vanity to the extremes to say that I possess half of her insight and strong will to live and to explore everything in life, but still there are many points of recognition. Or rather, her thread through life is similar to much that I have seen and thought, but not believed strongly enough to carry out or stand up for. Whilst she always followed the voice within her that she knew was the truth, I have tended to adjust to my surroundings, wishing for peace more than complete truth.
In some respect I think that is an OK way to start life, as it allows you to be around people quietly, without too much strife. The down-side of this is of course that you might miss out on important battles for your own sake, battles for your truth (which most often turns out to be universal truths), that you give in to the habit of following other people's tune to keep the peace.
Well, this woman, Elisabeth Haich, certainly never gave in to such ideas. She seems to always have experienced directly what is true, and stayed with that. And acted accordingly. I rarely get inspired by what other people do or have done, but this woman is different. She is just revealing her truth throughout her life, and does not try to persuade you into anything. You can just read what she says and decide everything for yourself.
With me, it was recognition from the first sentence. Probably most people won't have that experience, and miss out on the depths of her words. But there is always someone or something speaking directly to you, you might just not have heard their voice yet.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Another beautiful poem by Jack Gilbert
His words carry their own weight and balance on a thin line of golden warmth, melancholy wetness and the now and then icy shock of feeling the total emptiness a life can hold.
Overall the word 'simplicity' seems to suit his poems the best. He recognizes the thin wire of life and is holding on to it, by words.
So here goes:
HARM AND BOON IN THE MEETINGS
We think the fire eats the wood.
We are wrong. The wood reaches out
to the flame. The fire licks at
what the wood harbors, and the wood
gives itself away to that intimacy,
the manner in which we and the world
meet each new day. Harm and boon
in the meetings. As heart meets what
is not heart, the way the spirit
encounters the flesh and the mouth meets
the foreignness in another mouth. We stand
looking at the ruin of our garden
in the early dark of November, hearing crows
go over while the first snow shines coldly
everywhere. Grief makes the heart
apparent as much as sudden happiness can.
I can't control myself completely here, have to add another comment: This is one of many poems that reveals a certain Easternness with him. I am sure the Japanese and Chinese languages hold a shorter, simpler word for 'simplicity', and that their terms can be applied directly onto Gilbert's work. If anyone cunning in these languages should read this, please leave me a comment with some words or phrases that might suit this guy's "project".
(I suspect that his way with words is the Western way of expressing some simple truths many Eastern cultures&literatures have known and shown for years - the haikus as one example.)
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Wake-up Call
The critical, awakened mind is pivotal to the individual's staying exactly that -- an individual. Every society needs its alert and independent people. If we all took what our leaders say for granted, 1984 would soon be upon us.
What do you say to the constructed dicotomies in the US, for example. How "real" is the world view that G.W. Bush presents? How many people actually believe in the "axis of evil", in the compartmentalizing of people into either being good or evil? How many actually think that this is our reality?
The same goes for all kinds of commercial behaviour. Through ads and commercials in every shape&form imaginable, needs are created in people. The need to buy a certain kind of product, itself produced to "fill a gap" in people's lives; "gaps" they never thought they had. Movies, TV series and books produced - not necessarily with the awake intention of doing so - to dull people's minds, to lull them into a technicolour dreamworld; to create an ILLUSION in which we are supposed to LIVE.
I believe people can think for themselves, but that many persons of today are too lazy, or too used to be living in an overly commercialized society to recognize in just how many ways we are heading towards the Orwellian 1984-scenario.
The world-wide "War on Terrorism" for example. This global, black-and-white war is alarmingly stupid, alarmingly lethal, and gaining an alarmingly lot of support in the public here in the West. What might this turn into? Perhaps a West vs East/Orient war? Is this wholly unthinkable? Isn't this the dicotomized world a certain president Bush is trying to make us believe is going to happen, if "we" won't attack "the others" first? Is this not what we are supposed to believe? And is this not the reason why many people will agree to set aside their individual and constitutional rights, and let their leaders equally set aside their nation's constitution in order to protect them against "terrorist attacks"?
Well, the military state might not be as dead as we thought it was.
The Annotated Pride and Prejudice
It is interesting to see how words and phrases have twisted just a notch and today having a sligtly different meaning than back then. As English is not my first language, this is particularly helpful and makes me learn a lot. At the same time, not being a native English speaker, I notice that I am more open to what words might mean, and tend to bend the phrases to what they are supposed to mean. Also, being a Norwegian, I can easily see how many of the words in English stem from the Nordic languages - old Norse, as it is called. Even the syntax of old English resembles our syntax more than the modern English. So being an outsider can be quite helpful in some ways.
Every foreign language will always lead to discoveries. That is what makes it so interesting studying other languages. And I have to say, English is one of my favourites. It is flowing and musical and soft. My major lingua-love might be Latin. There is something so satisfying about that almost mathematical, seamless language. I wish I knew Greek, and Sanskrit, and I would really like to be able to read Chinese and Japanese ---
Well. That's never going to happen. But still...
I am such a dreamer.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
My English Dream
I mean, look at this place:
How could you not want to walk amongst those stony streets, breathing the learned gusts of ancient stone and dusty books?
My sad story is that I never quite believed that I could do it. My English would have to need a serious brushing up. I would have to read a lot more books (even though I love reading, there are SO many books I haven't read, and I am afraid my list of read books aren't quite up to scratch as to what is required in these institutions). The unconscious mantra I have nurtured sounds something as follows: "I am just a Norwegian girl, a tiny dot on this planet, how am I ever to rise up into any position of influence or interest to others."
This is such a self-subvertive view of life! It really bothers me that I have believed in this for so long! And even though I may come round to viewing life different now, at the age of 26, much is too late! I am never going to go into any of those great institutions, I am hanging around here in Norway, University of Oslo, because that is what seemed more safe at the time I started my "academic carreer" (I haven't finished my MA yet, so there you go. "Carreer" my bleep).
Anyway. Thinking back, now, it is sort of sad to see in just how many ways I have hindered myself in doing just what I would like to do. If I could, I would like to time-travel back to my 14-year old self, giving out wise advise and telling me that I can actually do what I want to. I can pursue my burning interests to the other side of the planet, if that is what would pay off most.
To any other young girl out there (yes, "girl", because there are mostly girls who don't have enough self esteem) I would like to say: Believe in what you've got. Trust that instinct telling you what you are good at. Follow your gut.
And. I know: Easy to say now, hard to believe then. Nevertheless. It is true.
Believe in yourself, girls!
Confessions from a Chocolate Connoisseur
If you like, you can check out their website here.
Monday, May 21, 2007
So hard to concentrate!
"Free your mind" - not so easy when your body drags you back down!
It usually helps drinking som nice, white tea. But today that just propels me into a spiral of "now I need something salty, because the tea washed all my minerals out", or, "this detox and purification thing happening when drinking white or green tea surely means I can now have some more olives", and... Blaargh, you get my drift.
Get Up&Out&Walking seems the only solution to this. Or, perhaps, viewing another episode of the BBC Pride and Prejudice?
Well, venting my frustration also seems a good idea.
But that doesn't make the pain go away.
Enough complaining for today.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Tower of Song
Well my friends are gone and my hair is grey
I ache in the places where I used to play
And I'm crazy for love but I'm not coming on
I'm just paying my rent everyday
In the Tower of Song
I said to Hank Williams: How lonely does it get?
Hank Williams hasn't answered yet.
But I hear him coughing all night long
A hundred floors above me
In the Tower of Song
I was born like this, I had no choice.
I was born with the gift of a golden voice.
And twenty-seven angels from the Great beyond
They tied me to this table right here
In the Tower of Song
So you can stick your little pins in that voodoo doll ---
I'm very sorry, baby, doesn't look like me at all
I'm standing by the window where the light is strong
They don't let a woman kill you, not
In the Tower of Song
Now you can say that I've grown bitter, but of this you may be sure:
The rich have got their channels in the bedrooms of the poor
And there's a mighty judgment coming
But I may be wrong ---
You see, you hear these funny voices
In the Tower of Song
I see you standing on the other side
I don't know how the river got so wide
I loved you, baby, way back when
And all the bridges are burning that we might have crossed
But I feel so close to everything that we lost
We'll never have to lose it again
I bid you farewell, I don't know when I'll be back
They're moving us tomorrow to that tower down the track
But You'll be hearing from me, baby
Long after I'm gone
I'll be speaking to you sweetly from a window
In the Tower of Song
Listen to this song on the album I'm your Man. I like it a lot. Perhaps you'd also like to see the documentary from 2005, I think it is called Leonard Cohen - I'm your Man. Made himself quite a catch-phrase there...
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Jonathan Culler at play
While the content of her dissertation was&is highly interesting, the first opponent, Jonathan Culler (professor at Cornell University, US) spent most of his time babbling away about his own reflections on literature as a whole, and posed only three questions at the doctoree (again: whatever you call it in English). Three questions during an hour and a half's worth of speaking, this might give you a clear view of just how much Mr. Culler enjoyed listening to his own voice.
As he himself proclaimed, this was his first ever time as first opponent in this kind of environment, but that does not explain why he spent most of the time elaborating his own views of literature and quoting French authors in loud, well-articulated French (my guess is that he wanted to show off his good knowledge and practice of the language).
I am shocked!
I had hoped that one of the celebrities within literary studies would prove more interesting, and more sharp than this.
Not too brilliant, I have to say.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Akademia - humaniora
Litteraturvitenskap er fremdeles interessant og gøy, men det slår meg stadig vekk hvordan akademia alltid ligger ett skritt bak det som skjer, og at det tar jobben med å forklare og teoretisere og sette inn i historisk rammeverk.
Det dannet seg med en gang et slagord for dette: Fra lecteur til aktør! For hva er det vi driver med her vi sitter bøyd over bøkene? Analyse, spalting, forsøke å se hva andre har ment og tenkt og hvordan de har gjort det, mens de som har skrevet bøkene faktisk gjør noe. De lever gjennom ordene. Vi gjenopplever, gjenskaper, sekundærproduserer. Ikke rart at jeg noen ganger føler meg som en parasitt. Og et hakk fjernet fra eget liv. Det går nok fint an å leve et helt liv i hodet, noe sier meg at det er mer normalen enn unntaket. Men det er ikke bra nok for meg. Jeg må være her når jeg er her, for å si det sånn. Så får vi se om denne måten er den beste å gjøre det på.
Til slutt må jeg si: Jeg elsker litteratur, jeg elsker å lese, lære, reise gjennom andres ord. Det kommer jeg alltid til å gjøre. Men leser som livsvei er jeg ikke like sikker på om er holdbart i lengden. For meg.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Bibliotek!
Dette er biblioteket i Oslo slik det ser ut nå, i hovedhallen. Alt som står oppetter veggene er vanskelig å komme til, de færreste går helt oppe under taket for å finne bøkene de vil ha. Det er vel ca 20% av alle bøkene som står framme i dette "hovedbiblioteket" i Oslo - tegn på plassmangel, mon tro ---. Vi trenger virkelig et nytt, større, mer inspirerende sted å gå for å låne og lese bøker! Gleder meg altså veldig til det nye biblioteket skal stå ferdig, men jeg kan tenke meg at det ikke er ferdig før om ca 10 år... Hvorfor må man alltid vente på gode ting?
Og drømmestedet? Det originale biblioteket i Alexandria! Ingen vet hvordan det så ut. . .
Monday, May 07, 2007
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Litt skuffende filmopplevelse
Nå har jeg sett Spider-Man 3. Den var ok, men de to forrige var langt mer interessante. Bilkræsj og tjue meter høye sandmenn klarer ikke holde på min oppmerksomhet særlig lenge. Denne filmen utfordrer svært lite. Og blir i overmål moralsk på slutten - så uttalt rett og riktig moralsk sett at man skulle tro det var en Disney-film. Amerikansk til de grader.
Firer på terningen er passende for denne filmen.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Predictions HP7
Had to do this prediction exam at The Leaky Cauldron - my fauvourite Harry Potter website (except from J.K. Rowling's own, of course). Good fun.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Wallace Stevens: The Plain Sense of Things
After the leaves have fallen, we return
To a plain sense of things. It is as if
We had come to an end of the imagination,
Inanimate in an inert savoir.
It is difficult even to choose the adjective
For this blank cold, this sadness without cause.
The great structure has become a minor house.
No turban walks across the lessened floors.
The greenhouse never so badly needed paint.
The chimney is fifty years old and slants to one side.
A fantastic effort has failed, a repetition
In a repetitiousness of men and flies.
Yet the absence of the imagination had
Itself to be imagined. The great pond,
The plain sense of it, without reflections, leaves,
Mud, water like dirty glass, expressing silence
Of a sort, silence of a rat come out to see,
The great pond and its waste of the lilies, all this
Had to be imagined as an inevitable knowledge,
Required, as necessity requires.
As the previously posted poem by Nagarjuna (which, incidentally, is not a poem in the traditional way of thinking - rather like philosophical learning in the form of verse) is, by definition, Eastern in origin and form, this poem by Wallace Stevens seems to me to hold a reflection of the Eastern simplicity - within which is contained a profound complexity. It is rather revealing to the Western mind and way of expressing itself that this poem probably would have been put as a three-stanza haiku, had the author been, say, Japanese.
This way of expressing oneself, however, seems to be easier to grasp for our Eurocentric/westbent minds. As I myself belong to the Western camp, I couldn't really tell you the difference in the way of thinking between these two traditions. But I do believe that poems and written Eastern philosophy hints at how different the view of existence in different cultures can be.
At the same time: The direct experience of being human is something every person on this planet shares. So any difference in thinking, acting or organizing one's life and society will never be completely unintelligible. This is something more than one politician and other people of power might want to ponder. Before you go to war, of any kind, search within yourself to see whether there might be some understanding of the "opponent"'s point of view. Most of the time, you will find that there is.
Don't be afraid to look deeper into yourself that you normally allow yourself to do. Whatever you find will not be lethal to you. You might even find that you get to know a person that has longed to be recognized by you: Yourself.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Te!
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Bibliotekets magi
- Først og fremst den siste Harry Potter-boka: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows! Filmen til bok 5 er sikkert også verdt å få med seg, men man trenger nok bare se den én gang (i motsetning til Ringenes Herre-filmene, som jeg måtte se tre ganger hver på kino).
- Snart kommer det også en ny Spider Man-film, som jeg, tross mine 26 år, faktisk tror kommer til å bli ganske så bra. Ser mørk og problemfylt ut, akkurat noe for meg.
- The Simpsons kommer også på film. Har en anelse om at den ikke blir fantastisk, men siden de første sesongene av TV-serien var så god, er det verdt å prøve.
- Gleder meg til å skrive ferdig en oppgave om Baudelaires prosadikt, som skal leveres om en måned.
- Gleder meg til å trappe opp masterskriving (dvs idéutvikling og prosjektplanlegging, deretter skriving) utover sommeren og høsten.
- Og: gleder meg til den nordiske sommeren.
Akkurat nå gleder jeg meg mest til å spise et egg.
Thekla
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Failing and Flying
Love,
Thekla
Failing and Flying
by Jack Gilbert
Everyone forgets that Icarus also flew.
It's the same when love comes to an end,
or the marriage fails and people say
they knew it was a mistake, that everybody
said it would never work. That she was
old enough to know better. But anything
worth doing is worth doing badly.
Like being there by that summer ocean
on the other side of the island while
love was fading out of her, the stars
burning so extravagantly those nights that
anyone could tell you they would never last.
Every morning she was asleep in my bed
like a visitation, the gentleness in her
like antelope standing in the dawn mist.
Each afternoon I watched her coming back
through the hot stony field after swimming,
the sea light behind her and the huge sky
on the other side of that. Listened to her
while we ate lunch. How can they say
the marriage failed? Like the people who
came back from Provence (when it was Provence)
and said it was pretty but the food was greasy.
I believe Icarus was not failing as he fell,
but just coming to the end of his triumph
Snirkelen
Den styrer hennes handlingsbaner
og fungerer som pekere for de som følger
Fingeren peker gjerne i forvirrende retninger
og alle de som følger i hennes spor blir forvillet.
Skogene lukker seg rundt dem.
Måltrostene lokker og humlene surrer mystiske
beskjeder som de ikke kan skjønne før de har
vandret stien til ende og snur seg og ser
at det ikke var noe å skjønne.
Marmorens grunntone er det de har søkt.
De vil aldri finne den.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Examination of Time
If the present and the future
Depend on the past,
Then the present and the future
would have existed in the past.
If the present and the future
did not exist there,
How could the present and the future
Be dependent upon it?
If they are not dependent upon the past,
Neither of the two would be established.
Therefore neither the present
Nor the future would exist.
By the same method,
The other two divisions -- past and future,
Upper, lower, middle, etc.,
Unity, etc., should be understood.
A nonstatic time is not grasped.
Nothing one could grasp as
Stationary time exists.
If time is not grasped, how is it known?
If time depends on an entity,
Then without an entity how could time exist?
There is no existent entity.
So how can time exist?
Nagarjuna